The curse of being called...“different”

Not everyone has been through this, but definitely, there’s a whole bunch of people who does. This situation is usual, so common that it doesn’t mean its right.

This one is for the girls, and I know some guys may feel this way, that’s the truth. This one is for everyone feeling different. I’m not against anyone, this time it isn’t any article or simple post, it is the story of a friend who wanted to share some feelings with those who are different or as if you weren’t worth it… who said being different, rare, or quirky is wrong?

Few days ago I was with a friend, and we were talking about “the guy” who hasn’t been able to be clear with us, and we ended up making a conclusion about being called “different”, that not-so-common girl…  whatever this means..

The subject today is about… love, awkwardness, and rejection.

My friend, decided she wanted to share this, which was genuinely all written by her. And I just want to thank her for that, thank you for trusting me and allowing me to publish it on 20s Perspective. This is for those who are trying to see the positive side, because there truly is one. For those who may be identified or even for the ones who feel their acting like this…

What I thought when I saw this and read it the first time was: raw, true, so real and so honest…

The curse of being called “different”

“It is nice that you’re different and that you’re into that kind of stuff, that’s so different from the other girls”

“You’re not the common girl, you’re so different from the others, and I like that…”

“Girl your haircut… wow.. That’s bold, rare, and so different.. But it kinda looks good on you…because of how you are…”

“Your…style is… mm.. different”

These and some other phrases are just a part of my life... I have to deal with this every day, everywhere. And the people who says them can be my friends; my mother…or the guy that’s kinda cute and I just met. I’ve got used to it, to all this labels and stereotypes people have decided to put on me. Some people say that it’s good to accept your …what… rareness? “Its ok not to be ok, it’s good to stand out and be different” but the truth is, it is not that easy to accept your own rareness as something positive, not when we’re talking about the opposite sex, and if you know about that feeling, then you’ll get this, and what I’m talking about.

It isn’t about your age, you may be 15, 18, 22 or more.. it doesn’t matter, it is always the same thing, the same situation: I meet someone, he’s into my style, he says he likes my personality and me being “different”. First, he shows some interest but… no; he wasn’t that interested, he was not trying something for real, all of a sudden, he wasn’t serious… he was just trying to take advantage…

I’m done with  excuses, with every idea or possible reasons for this. , just trying to understand why, why when they liked me being different, even when we seem to have some chemistry, then it simply won’t happen, at least not with me.  

I’ve wondered and asked myself, so many times, what am I doing wrong? Why are they holding back from me? and the worst part: I’ve thought, what the hell is wrong with me?... when you are the only thing repeated in this failing equation, well, it’s easy and so common to think that you’re the problem and that you’re not worth it, no matter what you do, they’re not going to choose you.

But that’s not the end, thanks to those thoughts of yourself and critics, and awful comments.. and disappointments, the worst part is when you start thinking that you should change, and try to be someone you’re not, just to fit in, and blend in like “everyone else”… well, please DON’T. That’s the worst thing you can do or think about yourself.    

After thousands of tears, and thoughts and after annoying my best friend, I’ve understand it. This is who I am, this is how I was born and raised, if Im not able to “fit in” and blend like the others, its because I am not supposed to do that. I can’t be common or be invisible, that’s not me.

Yes, it is heartbreaking and sad when the guy you were into, and the one you really liked for good, won’t feel the same way about you, and instead of being honest, he’ll start that game of lies, and the same old speech everyone has told you before. But there’s only one reason for that. He’s the common person, the one who needs to fit in, be accepted and follow the social rules. He rather stay in his comfort zone than to face other fears.

That’s the real reason why it won’t work, they won’t be able to take a chance with you, to try… because their common and they haven’t got the guts… this is exactly why a different and specially rare person like you or me doesn’t need. Sometimes it’s hard to remember this, and I’ve some trouble to realize that I am worth it, to understand and accept what I really deserve. All this experiences through my life, have taught me to appreciate myself, and to understand that “the guy” or this certain person does not deserves my attention. 

If someone is going to love you, he, she, or whoever, that person is going to accept you exactly as you are, dont worry about the ones who end up knowing what they are losing, and how they just lost an opportunity, but they’ll regret it when they’re trying to handle and hang out with those common, lame, typical girls.. just like the others…

-Esmeralda

Someone  different.